Humans Crave Significance

If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you who you are. That determines your character. This is the most significant thing about you. (Page 24)

Names Matter

We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly owned by the person with whom we are dealing... and nobody else. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique amongst all others. (Page 84)

Listening Beats Talking

The chronic kicker, even the most violent critic, will frequently soften and be subdued in the presence of a patient, sympathetic listener—a listener who will be silent while the irate fault-finder dilates like a king cobra and spews the poison out of its system. (Page 91)

Make Them Want It

There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way. (Page 16)

Interest Beats Self Promotion

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.(Page 56)

Smile

Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a million dollars. For Schwab’s personality, his charm, his ability to make people like him were almost wholly responsible for his extraordinary success; and one of the most delightful factors in his personality was his captivating smile. Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.” (Page 69)

Don’t Argue

I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument—and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would rattlesnakes and earthquakes. Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he or she is absolutely right. (Page 122)

Think Like a Dog

Did you ever stop to think that the family dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes its living by giving you nothing but love.(Page 55)

Agreement Has Momentum

In talking with people: Begin by emphasizing—and keep on emphasizing—the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end. Get the other person saying “Yes, yes” at the outset. This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the affirmative direction. It’s like the movement of a billiard ball. Propel in one direction, and it takes some force to deflect it, far more force to send it back in the opposite direction.(Page 157)

Judge Gently

The only reason that you are not a rattlesnake is that your mother and father weren’t rattlesnakes. The only reason you don’t worship crocodiles is because you weren’t born in ancient Egypt in the days of the pharaohs. And if you lived in Yap, a remote island in the western Pacific, you might be buying a goat using a rock as currency. You deserve very little credit for being what you are—and remember, the people who came to you irritated, bigoted, and unreasoning deserve very little discredit for being what they are. Feel sorry for the poor devils. Pity them. Sympathize with them. (Page 183)