Power Is Ammoral

Our world today imagines itself the pinnacle of fairness, yet the same ugly emotions still stir within us as they have forever. The game is the same. Outwardly, you must seem to respect the niceties, but inwardly, unless you are a fool, you learn to be prudent, and to do as Napoleon advised: Place your hand inside a velvet glove. (Page 2)

Learn How to Use It For The Better

In fact, the better you are at dealing with power, the better friend, the better lover, husband, wife, and person you will become. By following the route of the perfect courtier, you learn to make others feel better about themselves, becoming a source of pleasure to them. They will grow dependent on your abilities and desirous of your presence. By mastering the laws in this book, you spare others the pain that comes from bungling with power—by playing with fire without knowing its properties. If the game of power is inescapable, better to be an artist than a denier or a bungler. (Page 3)

We Trust Appearances Because We Have To

The people around us, even our closest friend will always remain to some extent, mysterious and unfathomable. Their characters have secret recesses that they never reveal. The unknowableness of other people could prove disturbing if we thought about it long enough, since it would make it impossible for us really to judge other people. So we prefer to ignore this fact, and to judge people on their appearances, on what is most visible to our eyes - clothes, gestures, words, actions. In the social realm, appearances are the barometer of almost all our judgments. (Page 40)

Avoid The Miserable, It’s Infectious

You can die from someone else's misery - emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man, but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves, they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead. (Page 49) How can you protect yourself against such insidious viruses. The answer lies in judging people on the effects they have on the world and not on the reasons they give for their problems. Infectors can be recognized by the misfortune they draw on themselves; their turbulent past, their long line of broken relationships, their unstable careers, and the very force of their nature, which sweeps you up and makes you lose reason. Be forewarned by these signs of an infector; learn to see the discontent in their eyes. Do not enmesh yourself in trying to help. The infector will remain unchanged, but you will be unhinged. (Page 80)

Associate With Those Better Than You

If, for example, you are miserly by nature, you will never go beyond a certain limit; only generous souls attain greatness. Associate with the generous, then, and they will infect you, opening up everything that is tight and restricted in you. If you are gloomy, gravitate to the cheerful. If you are prone to isolation, force yourself to befriend the gregarious. Never associate with those who share your defects-they will reinforce everything that holds you back. Only create associations with positive affinities. Make this a rule of life and you will benefit more than from all the therapy in the world. (Page 81)

Be An Enigma

In a world that is ever more banal, that has had its mystery and myth squeezed out of it, we secretly crave enigmas, people or things that cannot be instantly interpreted, seized, and consumed. (Page 52)

Read And Learn From the Best

Writers who have delved into human nature, ancient masters of strategy, historians of human stupidity and folly, kings learned the hard way how to handle the burdens of power-their knowledge is gathering dust, waiting for you to come and stand on their shoulders. Their wit can be your wit, their skill can be your skill, and they will never come around to tell people how unoriginal you really are. You can slog through life, making endless mistakes, wasting time and energy trying to do things from your own experience. Or you can use the armies of the past. As Bismarck once said, "Fools say that they learn by experience. I prefer to profit by others' experience.” (Page 60)

Talk Is Cheap

Words are a dime a dozen. Everyone knows that in the heat of an argument, we will all say anything to support our cause. We will quote the Bible, refer to unverifiable statistics. Who can be persuaded by bags of air like that? Action and demonstration are much more powerful and meaningful. They are there, before our eyes, for us to see now the statue's nose does look just right." There are no offensive words, no possibility of misinterpretation. No one can argue with a demonstrated proof. As Baltasar Gracián remarks, "The truth is generally seen, rarely heard.” (Page 72)

Appeal To Other’s Self Interest

There is an art to asking for help, an art that depends on your ability to understand the person you are dealing with, and to not confuse your needs with theirs.

Most people never succeed at this, because they are completely trapped in their own wants and desires. They start from the assumption that the people they are appealing to have a selfless interest in helping them. They talk as if their needs mattered to these people-who probably couldn't care less. Sometimes they refer to larger issues: a great cause, or grand emotions such as love and gratitude. They go for the big picture when simple, everyday realities would have much more appeal. What they do not realize is that even the most powerful person is locked inside needs of his own, and that if you make no appeal to his self-interest, he merely sees you as desperate or, at best, a waste of time. (Page 98)

Insecure People Are The Most Dangerous

In the realm of power, everything is a question of degree, and the person who is decidedly more insecure than the average mortal presents great dangers.... Some people's insecurity and ego fragility cannot tolerate the slightest offense. To see if you are dealing with such a type, test them first - make say, a mild joke at their expense. A confident person will laugh; an overly insecure one will react as it - personally insulted. (Page 141)

Intensity Beats Extensity

Prize intensity more than extensity. Perfection resides in quality, not quantity. Extent never rises above mediocrity, and it is the misfortune of men with wide general interests that while they would like to have their finger in every pie, they have one in none. Intensity gives eminence, and rises to the heroic in matters sublime. (Page 177)

Be Self-Aware

You must be the mirror, training your mind to try to see yourself as others see you. Are you acting too obsequious? Are you trying too hard to please? Do you seem desperate for attention. Be observant about yourself and you will avoid a mountain of blunders. (Page 181)

Build Your Own Myth

The world wants to assign you a role in life. And once you accept that role, you are doomed. Your power is limited to the tiny amount allotted to the role you have selected... An actor, on the other hand, plays many roles... Your new identity will protect you from the world precisely because it is not “you”; it is a costume you put on and take off... You need not take it personally... And your identity sets you apart, gives you theatrical presence. Those in the back rows can see you and hear you. Those in the front rows marvel at your audacity…Re-create yourself into a character of power. Working on yourself like clay should be one of your greatest and most pleasurable life tasks. It makes you, in essence an artist - an artist creating yourself. (Page 195)

When In Doubt, Be Bold

When you take time to think, to hem and haw, you create a gap that allows others time to think as well. Your timidity infects others with inward energy, elicits embarrassment... In seduction, hesitation is fatal. It makes your victim conscious of your intentions. (Page 228) Part of the charm of being seduced is that it makes us feel engulfed, temporarily outside ourselves and usual doubts that permeate our lives. The moment the seducer hesitates, the charm is broken, because we become aware of the process... Boldness directs attention outward and keeps the illusion alive. (Page 233)

Pay Attention To Other’s Nuances

If you suspect that someone has a particular soft spot, probe for it indirectly. If, for instance, you sense that a man has a need to be loved, openly flatter him. If he laps up your compliments, no matter how obvious, you are on the right track. Train your eye for details-how someone tips a waiter, what delights a person, the hidden messages in clothes. Find people's idols, the things they worship and will do anything to get-perhaps you can be the supplier of their fantasies. Remember: Since we all try to hide our weaknesses, there is little to be learned from our conscious behavior. What oozes out in the little things outside our conscious control is what you want to know. (Page 272) Study people's eyes, follow their gestures-surer barometers of pain and pleasure than any spoken word. Notice and remember the details-the clothing, the choice of friends, the daily habits, the tossed-out remarks that reveal hidden and rarely indulged desires. Soak it all in, find out what lies under the surface, then make yourself the mirror of their unspoken selves. That is the key to this power: The other person has not asked for your consideration, has not mentioned his pleasure in the rose of Sharon, and when reflect it back to him his pleasure is heightened because it is unasked for. Remember: The wordless communication, the indirect compliment, contains the most power. (Page 388)