Trauma Is Self-Created

No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences-the so called trauma-but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. (Page 13)

Weakness Is Power

Adler says, "In fact, if we were to ask ourselves who is the strongest person in our culture, the logical answer would be, the baby. The baby rules and cannot be dominated." The baby rules over the adults with his weakness. (Page 70)

Competition Kills Peace

Even if you're not a loser, even if you're someone who keeps on winning, if you are someone who has placed himself in competition, you will never have a moment's peace. You don't want to be a loser. And you always have to keep on winning if you don't want to be a loser. (Page 78)

Praise Creates Weakness

Being praised is what leads people to form the belief that they have no ability... Adlerian psychology refutes all manner of vertical relationships and proposes that all interpersonal relationships be horizontal relationships. (Page 184)

Live Now

Then, let's dance in earnest the moments of the here and now, and live in earnest. Do not look at the past, and do not look at the future. One lives each complete moment like a dance. There is no need to compete with anyone, and one has no use for destinations. (Page 261)

Reality Is Subjective

None of us live in an objective world, but instead in a subjective world that we ourselves have given meaning to. The world you see is different from the one I see, and it's impossible to share your world with anyone else.

Contribution Creates Happiness

It is when one is able to feel "I am beneficial to the community" that one can have a true sense of one's worth... In a word, happiness is the feeling of contribution. (Page 189)

Accept Don't Affirm

Self-affirmation is making suggestions to oneself, such as "I can do it" or "I am strong," even when something is simply beyond one's ability... With self-acceptance, if one cannot do something, one is simply accepting "one's incapable self" as is and moving forward so that one can do whatever one can. (Page 210)

Freedom Requires Courage

Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn't that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy. (Page 35)

Specialness Through Suffering

Such people try to make themselves "special" by way of their experience of misfortune, and with the single fact of their misfortune try to place themselves above others... as long as one continues to use one's misfortune to one's advantage in order to be "special," one will always need that misfortune. (Page 69)